FixRoast.com Roast Report
We roasted our own landing page. Here's what our AI found — the good, the bad, and the fixes.
Analysis for
fixroast.com
The Roast
"Well, well, well. You actually listened to me about the headline. 'Your Landing Page Sucks' is exactly the kind of slap in the face your visitors need. But the irony here is thick enough to cut with a knife: you're selling speed optimization while your own LCP is sitting at a disastrous 5.6 seconds. You've built a Ferrari body kit on top of a tricycle engine. It looks prettier, but it's still stalling at the starting line."
AI Analysis Scores
Design
Copy
Conversion
User Experience
PageSpeed Insights Scores
Performance
Accessibility
Best Practices
SEO
Core Web Vitals
LCP
5.63s
FCP
1.95s
CLS
0
FID
126ms
TTFB
0.005s
INP
200ms
Page Screenshots
Screenshot preview
Available in your roast report
Screenshot preview
Available in your roast report
AI Analysis by Category
"Clean and professional, but it still feels like a yoga studio when it should feel like a roast battle."
"Huge improvement on the headline, but the supporting text is starting to drag its feet."
"Better hierarchy, but you're still hiding the scary numbers like a coward."
"The site works, but the wait time for the content to appear is inexcusable."
- The new headline 'Your Landing Page Sucks. Let's Fix It.' is fantastic. It stops the scroll.
- The secondary CTA 'See a real roast in action' is much better as a link than a competing button.
- The social proof section with the pink stats cards is visually distinct and persuasive.
For a site that claims to fix 'Slow Load Times', your performance is embarrassing. You are failing Core Web Vitals because you're prioritizing fancy entrance animations over raw speed.
Main Speed Problem
What: The subhead paragraph (<p class='text-xl...'>)
Why: The browser is waiting for a massive CSS file and JavaScript hydration before showing this text.
Top Speed Issues
Massive Unused JavaScript
chunks/c6f98bb022575737.js (161KB unused)
Your Next.js bundle is bloated. Use 'next/dynamic' to lazy load components that aren't in the viewport (like the FAQ and Footer).
Render Blocking CSS
chunks/539523adceaf4ed9.css (99KB)
Defer non-critical CSS. This file is blocking the paint for nearly a full second.
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Recommendations
Kill the Animation
Remove the entrance animation/fade-in on the Hero Headline and Subhead. It's killing your LCP score.
Instant LCP improvement
Fix Pricing Transparency
Increase font size of '$120/yr billed annually' text in the pricing cards.
Increased trust
Aggressive Subheads
Change 'Turn Visitors Into Customers' to 'Stop Burning Money'.
Better emotional hook
FIX THE HYPOCRISY (LCP Score)
Your LCP is 5.63s. You literally have a card on your page mocking 'Slow Load Times'. You need to optimize your Next.js hydration. The text is loading too late. Disable client-side transitions for the initial render of the hero text.
LCP under 2.5s and instant credibility boost
Pricing Card Hierarchy
The 'Starter' plan is blue, 'Pro' is orange/white. The visual weight is confusing. If you want people to buy Pro, make Starter and Free visually recede (grey backgrounds) and keep Pro as the ONLY white/colored card.
Higher RPU (Revenue Per User)
Add customer testimonials
Real quotes from users who improved their conversions using FixRoast
Social proof increases trust and conversion rates
Create comparison landing pages
Pages like "FixRoast vs Roast My Landing Page" for SEO
Capture competitor search traffic
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